Friday, September 14, 2018

Random Musing Before Shabbat-Vayelekh–Shabbat Shuva 5759—Return?


Return. But how can I go back?
Again. Have I been there before?
Land. Which land?
Soul. What is a soul? Do I have one? Is it me?
What. Am I?
Who. Am ?
Where. Am I?
Born. Once.
Reborn. Not yet.

Return. For a visit, an extended stay, forever?
Again. Isn't once enough?
Land. I'm a renter. I don't have a land. I grew up in apartments.
Soul. Like the soul music of my teen years, or the soul music of today? 
What. No human being is a what.
Who. Every human being is a who.
Where. Every human being is some where.
Born. Every human being was born.
Reborn. Some human beings claim to be reborn. Me, I'm a skeptic.

Return. What if going forward rather than back is the better option?
Again. Is there any way out of this circular path?
Land. If my soul has a land, how do I find it?
Soul. Ditto.
What. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Who. Is my soul my who, or just part of it? Or is my who my soul, or part of it?
Where. Sometimes, even going back somewhere you don't really know the destination.
Born. I come from a womb. Did my soul come from their as well?
Reborn. Doesn't being reborn require death first? That sounds scary.

Return. Again you ask me to return. How can I return if I'm not sure where I've been?
Again. Mustn't I have gone at least once in order to return yet again?
Land. Is real. It is earthy. It can be held in one's hand. From it we were fashioned.
Soul. Is ethereal. It is heavenly. It is Dulcinea. It was breathed into us (and therefore not ours?)
What. Is what truth? Or can an untruth be a what? If so, what is what? Nothing? Everything?
Who.Who in a physical sense, or who in a conceptual sense?
Where. Quantum physics tells us there is no where. Only possibilities.
Born. Quantum physics tells us that birth results from observation/interaction. (Particle physics might say that birth results from annihilation.
Reborn. What particles collide, that's exactly what happens. Their constituents parts are reborn as other things. Other whats, perhaps? Other wheres?

Return. Borrowed things are returned. Are we borrowed things, borrowed entities?
Land. Is land a place? A real place? An imaginary place? 
Soul. Essence?  Sparks? Spice?
What. Must I become what I was before if I did not like what I was? Is such return mandatory?
Who. Must I become who I was before? Couldn't I be someone else? Can I return to who I was not?
Where. How much does the where interact with the what and the who? I'm not clear on that.
Born. Is a soul born? Does a soul die? Same for whats and whos and wheres.
Reborn. I'm thinking I like recycle better than reborn. Allows for more options.

Return. A coin return gives us back our change. Is return change?
Land.  Does each soul occupy a different land?
Soul. Does each land host a different soul?
What. I may prefer: what? I like to question things. I was what?
Who. Who was that? Was that who me?
Where. Where? Right here of course. Hineini.
Born. Borne? Bourne? I think they're all related somehow.
Reborn. Still struggling with this one. And yet I have justified my returning to the use of the words "m'chayyei hameitim" when I pray as I have come to a different understanding that is not physical resurrection, but of continued life through continuation of a persons values, gifts, etc. However, this is still in relation to dead people. How can the living be reborn. That's still not clicking. It's one thing to metaphorically put a new heart in someone (although we can do it physically, too!) If my soul is reborn is it still the same soul? Am I still the same person, or has a new life been created? I get lost in these thoughts. I can easily drown in them. So now I say to you: your turn.


Shanah Tovah, Tzom Kashe (it's not supposed to be easy) and Shabbat Shalom,

(c)2018 by Adrian A. Durlester

Other musings on this parasha:

Vayeilekh/Shabbat Shuvah 5776 - Cows and Roses
Vayeilekh_Shabbat Shuvah 5769 - Cows and Roses
Vayelekh 5765-The Time Is Still Now

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